What is Enmeshment?

Enmeshment is the lack of boundaries between parents and their children.
It describes families with over-involved relationships between family members.

Cultural Context in Filipino Families

A deep sense of gratitude that creates lifelong responsibilities between family members, often influencing decisions and personal boundaries.

This refers to treating people like fellow human beings or acknowledging that they are also human beings (Enriquez, 1978, 1994).

 It is at the heart of Filipino households. Family and its interconnections with each other are highly valued in Filipino society (Maglian, 2019).

Multiple factors contribute to Filipino familial enmeshment.

Common Manifestations of Enmeshment

Here are the common symptoms that one may have been enmeshed since childhood.

The child takes on the role of caregiver and is given obligations that are inappropriate for their age (Brochet, 2020).
A behavioral pattern in which a person or a family member treats a capable person as if they were a child for an extended period of time, typically by a parent who needs to be needed (Garber, 2011).
It is one of the indicators of an enmeshed family. Individuals with co-dependency often accept responsibility for the needs of others.
Often describes the behavior of a parent who becomes dependent on a child for emotional support, intimacy, or companionship.

Impacts of Enmeshment on our well-being

Having manifestations of an enmeshed family dynamic can affect one’s interpersonal and intrapersonal skills.

These often include loss of one’s self-identity, self-autonomy, and self-esteem. One can find themselves comparing themselves to their peers, feeling as though something is lacking within, leaving them a feeling of insecurity.

Eventually, this affects their relationships be it platonic or romantic relationships. There is always a need for control and a gnawing feeling of guilt because of this.

Healing and Setting Boundaries

 Although being enmeshed is not anyone’s fault, it is our personal duty
to heal ourselves to learn from it, and not repeat the same patterns.

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